I’ve lived in Melbourne for years, and even though the city is pretty LGBTQ-friendly, dating as a lesbian trans woman is… complicated. I’m out, I’m confident, I’m proud — but whenever I tried dating apps, I constantly felt like I had to ‘prove’ my identity or over-explain myself. Some women were curious, some were kind, but very few were genuinely open to dating a trans woman. It got exhausting.
I started wondering if maybe I was the problem, or if I was asking for too much.”
“A friend told me about MeetMTF — specifically that there were actual lesbian and bi women on there who were intentionally looking to meet trans women. I didn’t believe her, but I signed up anyway.
The first thing that surprised me was how… calm I felt. No weird messages. No fetishizing. No backhanded compliments. Just normal profiles of women who seemed like real people.”
“Then I saw her — A., 29, from Fitzroy.
Her bio simply said: ‘Looking for a woman with warmth and depth. Trans women absolutely welcome.’
My stomach actually dropped reading that. I don’t think I realised how much tension I’d been carrying until it suddenly loosened.”
“I sent her a message. Nothing fancy — just:
‘Hey, I love your energy already.’
She replied in two minutes. And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel nervous.
We talked for hours — about books, queer spaces in Melbourne, her dog, my obsession with cooking shows. I noticed this strange, quiet feeling in my chest… like I wasn’t defending anything. I wasn’t proving anything. I was just being.”
“A few days later, she suggested we use the video chat inside MeetMTF.
I panicked a little — video calls always trigger my dysphoria.
But something about her felt safe, so I said yes.”
“When the call started, she smiled the biggest, warmest smile.
And everything in me softened.
She didn’t scan my face.
She didn’t study me.
She just looked at me like I was a woman she was excited to see.
It’s funny how powerful something so simple can be.”
“We met in person at a small café near Carlton Gardens.
She hugged me the moment she arrived — not hesitating, not awkward.
Just a comfortable, natural hug.
And for the first time, I didn’t worry about whether I was ‘enough.’
I felt chosen. Not tolerated.”
“It’s been three months now.
She calls me her girlfriend.
We cook together, take long walks, argue about the best dumplings in the CBD, and I’ve met her friends — all incredibly supportive.
Sometimes when she holds my hand, I still feel that quiet surprise:
Is this really happening? Is this what it feels like to be fully seen?
MeetMTF didn’t magically fix my self-doubt, but it gave me a space where I could show up as myself — and meet someone who loved that version of me.”
— S., 31, Melbourne